Money on this planet is such a big issue to so many people. Considering the race I once belonged to doesn’t use finance as a statement of status but as a method of acquisition, I don’t put much stock into how much a potential partner makes or doesn’t make, just as long as they are independent and productive.
Since I began seeing Paul he’s alluded to being from a wealthy family and being quite well off independently. Immediately when a guy begins talking about having money I think its bullshit, just because I know how humans like to inflate themselves when courting. He said a few times that his mother’s family were heavy donors to the Opera, but wouldn’t tell me what their names were, he just said he doesn’t like to talk about it.
So of course the first question that goes through my head is what this guy’s deal is. Is he a pathological liar or is he genuinely what he claims? Of course, this is another aspect that prevents me from truly letting my guard down. Last weekend he talked about selling the million and a half dollar house in California that his grandmother left him, and then this weekend talked about how the people’s loan was still in underwriting because the banks were putting more scrutiny to large loans right now.
The thing that confuses me is I didn’t even ask… he just offered the information… Then he went on about how he had his Black Card with him and if we wanted to we could take off to Las Vegas for the night right then. I laughed him off but it made me curious - is he just THAT comfortable after being together such a short time that he’ll discuss matters of a personal financial matter with me, or is he just beefing himself up? When most guys are concerned I would normally say beefing himself up, but this particular specimen is a very difficult read.
I’m used to people being guarded, impossible to penetrate. I’m not used to someone being up front with me and that’s one thing that severely throws me off with Paul. I misconstrue what he says when he makes himself vulnerable because I’m scared. I expect an ulterior motive because that’s what I’ve been conditioned to expect. How does one shift their paradigm to overcome the jadedness that comes along with dating and allow themselves to be open to love once again?
We returned to his house and I went inside to gather my stuff before returning home. I got my bath supplies together and felt the ring he gave me while we were drunk on our first date hanging from the necklace around my neck and suddenly I was in immediate evaluation mode. What was my impression? What was my clear head telling me? I thought about leaving the ring behind until I looked on the shelf next to his mirror and saw a credit card – and it looked like a Black Card...
I didn’t touch it, I couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t even look for too long because I felt I had invaded his privacy just by seeing it. I had a new perspective on everything he had said before. Maybe he wasn’t making things up as he went along… maybe he WAS one of the last decent, honest guys left on this miserable little rock. I left the clasp on my necklace and finished gathering my things, ring still securely around my neck. Money is not an object to me but honesty is, and I wasn’t quite ready to call this guy a liar.
26.4.09
Field Study - Midnight in Istanbul... or somewhere around there at least.
It was midnight in Istanbul… well somewhere around there, same planet at least. I was out with my latest indulgence into human dating, Paul. Paul is the CEO of a whole grain distributor, lives in a cute little house, and is nearly 10 years my senior. So why, you may as would he want anything to do with a 28 year old writer who barely makes ends meet?
You got me.
What I do know is that I have fun with the guy, which is probably why I accepted when he asked me out. But like every other situation, it’s always fun until it just isn’t anymore. It’s been a week now that I’ve been seeing Paul and in that time we’ve had approximately three dates, two being overnight visits.
Last night, at midnight in Istanbul (or somewhere in the general planetary vicinity) I was having a great time until Paul and I stepped outside to have a cigarette. We had both consumed a fair share of alcoholic beverages, mine starting out with approximately an ounce and a half of mescal sprits, or at the humans call it “tequila”. This liquor mixes much easier with my alien blood stream for some reason.
Anyway.
He brought up the subject of sexual relations with me, and said that he would like to wait, which I felt was appropriate. Then he said “just playing devil’s advocate, in my experience it doesn’t last long if you sleep together too soon.” The way he said it, to me, said that if he had sex with me too soon he would loose interest. He also said that he was really falling for me, and didn’t want that to end.
This is the moment when the evening became confused.
I was in a bit of a bad mood after that, mostly because I couldn’t figure out exactly he had meant by it. As we watched the female impersonator dance around the room, the two of us bustled in a croud of flamboyant gay men and drunk heterosexual females I began to feel the walls close in on me. Everything was confused. A guy walked by Paul and they made eye contact. The strange transvestite began a Bollywood dance routine. I was about to loose my mind – by brain craved nicotine.
I darted to the back of the bar, out the door onto the patio and Paul fallowed me. He asked what was wrong and I was honest, I told him I felt like maybe I had dropped my guard a bit too much and needed to raise it a bit but he assured me he didn’t. I relayed my interpretation of the previous events to him, which according to him wasn’t at all what he meant. In restating he said he was afraid I would loose interest after we had sex, which made a little more sense and didn’t make him seem like a total asshole.
Still I couldn’t shake the mood. I told him that it wasn’t a good idea to bring up matters of a serious nature while we were drinking but still that didn’t shake my mysterious mood funk. Then I received a txt message from an old friend simply saying the name of the bar I was in. I said yes and he said “cool, cute boyfriend.” It was like seeing a favorite relative in the stands of your little league game. I didn’t think it was a good idea to stop and talk to him for too long because Paul somehow strikes me as the jealous just to be jealous type so I just played off the “really drunk” act when I saw him and went back outside alone.
We left soon after that and didn’t really speak on the drive home, besides a txt from him, sitting next to me in the car, asking what was wrong. I told him there was nothing wrong because I really didn’t know myself what was wrong. The night was all confused now and I wasn’t very clear on the details of what happened, nor how to bring it up.
I stayed at his house that night and took him to the Opera later the next day. I couldn’t help but feel a strange tension between us, I tried asking him what was wrong, but I guess like myself the night prior he didn’t know what was wrong either.
The day was becoming confused. When we held hands it felt forced. When we kissed it felt forced. It seemed like he would have been just as comfortable sitting on the opposite side of the room from me. As I left his house that day even arranging a future meeting seemed forced.
So I guess my real question of the day is –
Why exactly do humans do this? After writing out the previous mentioned series of events I don’t quite see what the benefit of engaging in such activities would be. It’s involved, it’s *work*, it’s emotionally messy and it’s not even really all that fun. But alas, let the research continue.
You got me.
What I do know is that I have fun with the guy, which is probably why I accepted when he asked me out. But like every other situation, it’s always fun until it just isn’t anymore. It’s been a week now that I’ve been seeing Paul and in that time we’ve had approximately three dates, two being overnight visits.
Last night, at midnight in Istanbul (or somewhere in the general planetary vicinity) I was having a great time until Paul and I stepped outside to have a cigarette. We had both consumed a fair share of alcoholic beverages, mine starting out with approximately an ounce and a half of mescal sprits, or at the humans call it “tequila”. This liquor mixes much easier with my alien blood stream for some reason.
Anyway.
He brought up the subject of sexual relations with me, and said that he would like to wait, which I felt was appropriate. Then he said “just playing devil’s advocate, in my experience it doesn’t last long if you sleep together too soon.” The way he said it, to me, said that if he had sex with me too soon he would loose interest. He also said that he was really falling for me, and didn’t want that to end.
This is the moment when the evening became confused.
I was in a bit of a bad mood after that, mostly because I couldn’t figure out exactly he had meant by it. As we watched the female impersonator dance around the room, the two of us bustled in a croud of flamboyant gay men and drunk heterosexual females I began to feel the walls close in on me. Everything was confused. A guy walked by Paul and they made eye contact. The strange transvestite began a Bollywood dance routine. I was about to loose my mind – by brain craved nicotine.
I darted to the back of the bar, out the door onto the patio and Paul fallowed me. He asked what was wrong and I was honest, I told him I felt like maybe I had dropped my guard a bit too much and needed to raise it a bit but he assured me he didn’t. I relayed my interpretation of the previous events to him, which according to him wasn’t at all what he meant. In restating he said he was afraid I would loose interest after we had sex, which made a little more sense and didn’t make him seem like a total asshole.
Still I couldn’t shake the mood. I told him that it wasn’t a good idea to bring up matters of a serious nature while we were drinking but still that didn’t shake my mysterious mood funk. Then I received a txt message from an old friend simply saying the name of the bar I was in. I said yes and he said “cool, cute boyfriend.” It was like seeing a favorite relative in the stands of your little league game. I didn’t think it was a good idea to stop and talk to him for too long because Paul somehow strikes me as the jealous just to be jealous type so I just played off the “really drunk” act when I saw him and went back outside alone.
We left soon after that and didn’t really speak on the drive home, besides a txt from him, sitting next to me in the car, asking what was wrong. I told him there was nothing wrong because I really didn’t know myself what was wrong. The night was all confused now and I wasn’t very clear on the details of what happened, nor how to bring it up.
I stayed at his house that night and took him to the Opera later the next day. I couldn’t help but feel a strange tension between us, I tried asking him what was wrong, but I guess like myself the night prior he didn’t know what was wrong either.
The day was becoming confused. When we held hands it felt forced. When we kissed it felt forced. It seemed like he would have been just as comfortable sitting on the opposite side of the room from me. As I left his house that day even arranging a future meeting seemed forced.
So I guess my real question of the day is –
Why exactly do humans do this? After writing out the previous mentioned series of events I don’t quite see what the benefit of engaging in such activities would be. It’s involved, it’s *work*, it’s emotionally messy and it’s not even really all that fun. But alas, let the research continue.
25.4.09
Observation in Behavior #2: Internet Dating
In 1991 The European Organization for Nuclear Research launched what we know today as the internet. After its launch at 9:30 am, it took exactly 45 minutes for someone to post a pornographic picture involving a woman and a horse. Now, it seems to be one of the easiest ways for this species to begin the propagation process. The entire network is littered with chat rooms and message boards whose only purpose is making physical connections between consenting adults. The problem is any situation that provides anonymity to its user has a dangerous potential – any dumbass idiot can make up a screen name and log in.
One of the things that boggle my giant alien brain is each individual’s strategy for integrating themselves into society. Where some individuals can easily work their way into any social situation and never think about it; others weasel their way into conversations, annoy the crap out of everyone, and live under the impression that they’ve successfully integrated. No matter what others do or say, they still labor under the delirium that they aren’t complete, utter douche bags. No matter how clever the screen name may be, once the person begins chatting it becomes very clear exactly what kind of person they are.
Often times, these same sad souls try to weasel themselves not only into your conversations but into your life. Since they’re living under a strange, ungrounded assumption that they’re “cool” or otherwise generally likeable individuals they most likely will not interpret polite rejection as rejection at all, but take it as playing hard to get.
This is especially true with internet dating. There IS no being polite on the internet, being polite is interpreted as term of endearment. It takes blunt force with some people, if a person isn’t rejected hard and fast it leaves hope for a future possibility. Even just ignoring them or not replying doesn’t work, they just take it as a sign to try again later. In my experience you have to shut them down, let them know you’re not interested so you can both move on and progress towards finding someone who is.
I guess that is one prominent human trait that I haven’t quite gotten the hang of – the ability to be cruel. On this planet there is little room for kindness upon strangers- you don’t throw change to the homeless because their friends will mug you around the corner, and you don’t throw compliments to lonely people unless you plan on procreating with them.
Is humanity really that cut and dry? Is everyone so sexually confused that they can’t tell the difference between a friendly gesture and a pick up line? At least now there’s more personal accountability for what is done on the internet. If you don’t look like the picture you advertise on the dating website, the in-person meeting with your potential partner will end in tragedy. Still most people prefer convenience over quality and would rather meet a dozen bad eggs on the internet than have patience and meet one good one in person.
One of the things that boggle my giant alien brain is each individual’s strategy for integrating themselves into society. Where some individuals can easily work their way into any social situation and never think about it; others weasel their way into conversations, annoy the crap out of everyone, and live under the impression that they’ve successfully integrated. No matter what others do or say, they still labor under the delirium that they aren’t complete, utter douche bags. No matter how clever the screen name may be, once the person begins chatting it becomes very clear exactly what kind of person they are.
Often times, these same sad souls try to weasel themselves not only into your conversations but into your life. Since they’re living under a strange, ungrounded assumption that they’re “cool” or otherwise generally likeable individuals they most likely will not interpret polite rejection as rejection at all, but take it as playing hard to get.
This is especially true with internet dating. There IS no being polite on the internet, being polite is interpreted as term of endearment. It takes blunt force with some people, if a person isn’t rejected hard and fast it leaves hope for a future possibility. Even just ignoring them or not replying doesn’t work, they just take it as a sign to try again later. In my experience you have to shut them down, let them know you’re not interested so you can both move on and progress towards finding someone who is.
I guess that is one prominent human trait that I haven’t quite gotten the hang of – the ability to be cruel. On this planet there is little room for kindness upon strangers- you don’t throw change to the homeless because their friends will mug you around the corner, and you don’t throw compliments to lonely people unless you plan on procreating with them.
Is humanity really that cut and dry? Is everyone so sexually confused that they can’t tell the difference between a friendly gesture and a pick up line? At least now there’s more personal accountability for what is done on the internet. If you don’t look like the picture you advertise on the dating website, the in-person meeting with your potential partner will end in tragedy. Still most people prefer convenience over quality and would rather meet a dozen bad eggs on the internet than have patience and meet one good one in person.
24.4.09
Observation in Predictive Behavior #1 - The Missed Sleep Cycle.
At 6am this morning I was awakened by the male I live with listening to music through his headphones as well as the large monitor speakers he recently added to his audio lab. I requested that he adjust the volume because I had not yet completed my sleep cycle and the incessant rhythmic thumping was preventing me from doing so. This led me to start an observation on predictive behavior.
Occasionally the male has been known to miss several days of sleep without the aide of chemical stimulants. After one missed sleep cycle behavioral changes are noticed and by the second day a definite change in mood is apparent. The male's lack of sleep effects the entire household, especially as his mood degradation continues. It's common for him to walk much harder through the household, begin digging through closets, and yell back and forth with the female at hours when others in the household (IE myself...) are asleep.
The female's is obviously annoyed by this as her sleep cycle is disturbed by the male's absence from their mutual sleep cycle. Her mood degrades much faster than the male's however; she becomes irritable and aggressive, speaking harshly to the male at every given opportunity.
Along with the two humans, my own sleep cycle is dramatically effected. It seems one of the side effects of the missed sleep cycle is a dramatic increase in disregard for other members of the household. The female normally displays flagrant disrespect and inconsideration, but as the male increases the amount of time without sleep he begins to fallow in the same trend.
I don't believe it to be intentional, such as the event which prevented me from sleeping this morning. Since he had his head phones on he didn't realize that the monitor speakers were loud, which would be a normal assumption of any rational intelligent person. Any musician or audio engineer KNOWS that lower harmonics or "bass" travel through material easier than higher harmonics, and anyone with ears knows this sounds intensely annoying. So, considering the equation just given I would deduce that the missed sleep has greatly effected his intelligence and ability to think rationally.
The basis for the female's inconsideration goes well beyond sleep deprivation and is yet to be determined, it seems to be one of the behaviors easily excused with being "female". Often the menstrual cycle is blamed, although she has been blaming her mood and physical discomfort on her period for 3 solid months. Her flagrant disrespect and disregard for other members of the household couple with extreme egocentricity is spawned from her sedentary lifestyle, considering her behavior was much different when she was gainfully employed.
Theory in predictive behavior - An argument consisting of elevated voices and loss of respect shall insue between the male and female in the next 48 hours given the previous 8 hours was the first missed sleep cycle. Bickering. Increased levels of negative energy in the household. Increased disrespect for each other and the relationship.
Result - stay tuned.
Occasionally the male has been known to miss several days of sleep without the aide of chemical stimulants. After one missed sleep cycle behavioral changes are noticed and by the second day a definite change in mood is apparent. The male's lack of sleep effects the entire household, especially as his mood degradation continues. It's common for him to walk much harder through the household, begin digging through closets, and yell back and forth with the female at hours when others in the household (IE myself...) are asleep.
The female's is obviously annoyed by this as her sleep cycle is disturbed by the male's absence from their mutual sleep cycle. Her mood degrades much faster than the male's however; she becomes irritable and aggressive, speaking harshly to the male at every given opportunity.
Along with the two humans, my own sleep cycle is dramatically effected. It seems one of the side effects of the missed sleep cycle is a dramatic increase in disregard for other members of the household. The female normally displays flagrant disrespect and inconsideration, but as the male increases the amount of time without sleep he begins to fallow in the same trend.
I don't believe it to be intentional, such as the event which prevented me from sleeping this morning. Since he had his head phones on he didn't realize that the monitor speakers were loud, which would be a normal assumption of any rational intelligent person. Any musician or audio engineer KNOWS that lower harmonics or "bass" travel through material easier than higher harmonics, and anyone with ears knows this sounds intensely annoying. So, considering the equation just given I would deduce that the missed sleep has greatly effected his intelligence and ability to think rationally.
The basis for the female's inconsideration goes well beyond sleep deprivation and is yet to be determined, it seems to be one of the behaviors easily excused with being "female". Often the menstrual cycle is blamed, although she has been blaming her mood and physical discomfort on her period for 3 solid months. Her flagrant disrespect and disregard for other members of the household couple with extreme egocentricity is spawned from her sedentary lifestyle, considering her behavior was much different when she was gainfully employed.
Theory in predictive behavior - An argument consisting of elevated voices and loss of respect shall insue between the male and female in the next 48 hours given the previous 8 hours was the first missed sleep cycle. Bickering. Increased levels of negative energy in the household. Increased disrespect for each other and the relationship.
Result - stay tuned.
23.4.09
Dating on Earth.
Dating on Earth.
I don’t advise it. It’s one of the more difficult activities to engage in on the third planet of this solar system and can be quite messy.
But, if you must engage in such activity, if you feel the insatiable need for companionship as so many on this colorful little planet do, walk with me for a while and I shall share my experience.
Let me share with you a little bit about myself. My name is unpronounceable with your small muscular tongues so I shall call myself Ty. I came to this planet years ago, bought a body from a shady dealer orbiting Mars, and blended into society.
I live with two heterosexual humans, one male one female, who are engaged in such activates as mentioned before. They are in the advanced stages preceding the ritual known as “marriage”. From what I can tell it can be a dangerous activity.
As for myself I have just begun a research project delving into the world of the above listed activity. For the past year or so I have mostly observed from the outside, but I find it a fit time to explore for myself.
Beginning a human romantic relationship is one of the great mysteries of the planet. In some cultures all the guess work is taken out for them with the use of arranged marriages. To me this seems like it would be a lot easier but takes most of the fun out of the process. Considering the body I purchased is homosexual the process is much more interesting. The selection is slimmed.
Fortunately the body came with an intellectual device called “gaydar” which allows me to spot other homosexuals for prospective dating. With Earth’s development of a world-wide information exchange database called “the internet” the process has become much easier and harder at the same time. Although the meeting process is easier, the quality of dating material is not always guaranteed.
The purpose of this blog is to share my own experiences, network with other aliens living on earth, and figure out the paradigm and state of being which humans call “love”.
I don’t advise it. It’s one of the more difficult activities to engage in on the third planet of this solar system and can be quite messy.
But, if you must engage in such activity, if you feel the insatiable need for companionship as so many on this colorful little planet do, walk with me for a while and I shall share my experience.
Let me share with you a little bit about myself. My name is unpronounceable with your small muscular tongues so I shall call myself Ty. I came to this planet years ago, bought a body from a shady dealer orbiting Mars, and blended into society.
I live with two heterosexual humans, one male one female, who are engaged in such activates as mentioned before. They are in the advanced stages preceding the ritual known as “marriage”. From what I can tell it can be a dangerous activity.
As for myself I have just begun a research project delving into the world of the above listed activity. For the past year or so I have mostly observed from the outside, but I find it a fit time to explore for myself.
Beginning a human romantic relationship is one of the great mysteries of the planet. In some cultures all the guess work is taken out for them with the use of arranged marriages. To me this seems like it would be a lot easier but takes most of the fun out of the process. Considering the body I purchased is homosexual the process is much more interesting. The selection is slimmed.
Fortunately the body came with an intellectual device called “gaydar” which allows me to spot other homosexuals for prospective dating. With Earth’s development of a world-wide information exchange database called “the internet” the process has become much easier and harder at the same time. Although the meeting process is easier, the quality of dating material is not always guaranteed.
The purpose of this blog is to share my own experiences, network with other aliens living on earth, and figure out the paradigm and state of being which humans call “love”.
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