It was midnight in Istanbul… well somewhere around there, same planet at least. I was out with my latest indulgence into human dating, Paul. Paul is the CEO of a whole grain distributor, lives in a cute little house, and is nearly 10 years my senior. So why, you may as would he want anything to do with a 28 year old writer who barely makes ends meet?
You got me.
What I do know is that I have fun with the guy, which is probably why I accepted when he asked me out. But like every other situation, it’s always fun until it just isn’t anymore. It’s been a week now that I’ve been seeing Paul and in that time we’ve had approximately three dates, two being overnight visits.
Last night, at midnight in Istanbul (or somewhere in the general planetary vicinity) I was having a great time until Paul and I stepped outside to have a cigarette. We had both consumed a fair share of alcoholic beverages, mine starting out with approximately an ounce and a half of mescal sprits, or at the humans call it “tequila”. This liquor mixes much easier with my alien blood stream for some reason.
Anyway.
He brought up the subject of sexual relations with me, and said that he would like to wait, which I felt was appropriate. Then he said “just playing devil’s advocate, in my experience it doesn’t last long if you sleep together too soon.” The way he said it, to me, said that if he had sex with me too soon he would loose interest. He also said that he was really falling for me, and didn’t want that to end.
This is the moment when the evening became confused.
I was in a bit of a bad mood after that, mostly because I couldn’t figure out exactly he had meant by it. As we watched the female impersonator dance around the room, the two of us bustled in a croud of flamboyant gay men and drunk heterosexual females I began to feel the walls close in on me. Everything was confused. A guy walked by Paul and they made eye contact. The strange transvestite began a Bollywood dance routine. I was about to loose my mind – by brain craved nicotine.
I darted to the back of the bar, out the door onto the patio and Paul fallowed me. He asked what was wrong and I was honest, I told him I felt like maybe I had dropped my guard a bit too much and needed to raise it a bit but he assured me he didn’t. I relayed my interpretation of the previous events to him, which according to him wasn’t at all what he meant. In restating he said he was afraid I would loose interest after we had sex, which made a little more sense and didn’t make him seem like a total asshole.
Still I couldn’t shake the mood. I told him that it wasn’t a good idea to bring up matters of a serious nature while we were drinking but still that didn’t shake my mysterious mood funk. Then I received a txt message from an old friend simply saying the name of the bar I was in. I said yes and he said “cool, cute boyfriend.” It was like seeing a favorite relative in the stands of your little league game. I didn’t think it was a good idea to stop and talk to him for too long because Paul somehow strikes me as the jealous just to be jealous type so I just played off the “really drunk” act when I saw him and went back outside alone.
We left soon after that and didn’t really speak on the drive home, besides a txt from him, sitting next to me in the car, asking what was wrong. I told him there was nothing wrong because I really didn’t know myself what was wrong. The night was all confused now and I wasn’t very clear on the details of what happened, nor how to bring it up.
I stayed at his house that night and took him to the Opera later the next day. I couldn’t help but feel a strange tension between us, I tried asking him what was wrong, but I guess like myself the night prior he didn’t know what was wrong either.
The day was becoming confused. When we held hands it felt forced. When we kissed it felt forced. It seemed like he would have been just as comfortable sitting on the opposite side of the room from me. As I left his house that day even arranging a future meeting seemed forced.
So I guess my real question of the day is –
Why exactly do humans do this? After writing out the previous mentioned series of events I don’t quite see what the benefit of engaging in such activities would be. It’s involved, it’s *work*, it’s emotionally messy and it’s not even really all that fun. But alas, let the research continue.
You got me.
What I do know is that I have fun with the guy, which is probably why I accepted when he asked me out. But like every other situation, it’s always fun until it just isn’t anymore. It’s been a week now that I’ve been seeing Paul and in that time we’ve had approximately three dates, two being overnight visits.
Last night, at midnight in Istanbul (or somewhere in the general planetary vicinity) I was having a great time until Paul and I stepped outside to have a cigarette. We had both consumed a fair share of alcoholic beverages, mine starting out with approximately an ounce and a half of mescal sprits, or at the humans call it “tequila”. This liquor mixes much easier with my alien blood stream for some reason.
Anyway.
He brought up the subject of sexual relations with me, and said that he would like to wait, which I felt was appropriate. Then he said “just playing devil’s advocate, in my experience it doesn’t last long if you sleep together too soon.” The way he said it, to me, said that if he had sex with me too soon he would loose interest. He also said that he was really falling for me, and didn’t want that to end.
This is the moment when the evening became confused.
I was in a bit of a bad mood after that, mostly because I couldn’t figure out exactly he had meant by it. As we watched the female impersonator dance around the room, the two of us bustled in a croud of flamboyant gay men and drunk heterosexual females I began to feel the walls close in on me. Everything was confused. A guy walked by Paul and they made eye contact. The strange transvestite began a Bollywood dance routine. I was about to loose my mind – by brain craved nicotine.
I darted to the back of the bar, out the door onto the patio and Paul fallowed me. He asked what was wrong and I was honest, I told him I felt like maybe I had dropped my guard a bit too much and needed to raise it a bit but he assured me he didn’t. I relayed my interpretation of the previous events to him, which according to him wasn’t at all what he meant. In restating he said he was afraid I would loose interest after we had sex, which made a little more sense and didn’t make him seem like a total asshole.
Still I couldn’t shake the mood. I told him that it wasn’t a good idea to bring up matters of a serious nature while we were drinking but still that didn’t shake my mysterious mood funk. Then I received a txt message from an old friend simply saying the name of the bar I was in. I said yes and he said “cool, cute boyfriend.” It was like seeing a favorite relative in the stands of your little league game. I didn’t think it was a good idea to stop and talk to him for too long because Paul somehow strikes me as the jealous just to be jealous type so I just played off the “really drunk” act when I saw him and went back outside alone.
We left soon after that and didn’t really speak on the drive home, besides a txt from him, sitting next to me in the car, asking what was wrong. I told him there was nothing wrong because I really didn’t know myself what was wrong. The night was all confused now and I wasn’t very clear on the details of what happened, nor how to bring it up.
I stayed at his house that night and took him to the Opera later the next day. I couldn’t help but feel a strange tension between us, I tried asking him what was wrong, but I guess like myself the night prior he didn’t know what was wrong either.
The day was becoming confused. When we held hands it felt forced. When we kissed it felt forced. It seemed like he would have been just as comfortable sitting on the opposite side of the room from me. As I left his house that day even arranging a future meeting seemed forced.
So I guess my real question of the day is –
Why exactly do humans do this? After writing out the previous mentioned series of events I don’t quite see what the benefit of engaging in such activities would be. It’s involved, it’s *work*, it’s emotionally messy and it’s not even really all that fun. But alas, let the research continue.
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