Observation in Behavior: Money

Money on this planet is such a big issue to so many people. Considering the race I once belonged to doesn’t use finance as a statement of status but as a method of acquisition, I don’t put much stock into how much a potential partner makes or doesn’t make, just as long as they are independent and productive.

Since I began seeing Paul he’s alluded to being from a wealthy family and being quite well off independently. Immediately when a guy begins talking about having money I think its bullshit, just because I know how humans like to inflate themselves when courting. He said a few times that his mother’s family were heavy donors to the Opera, but wouldn’t tell me what their names were, he just said he doesn’t like to talk about it.

So of course the first question that goes through my head is what this guy’s deal is. Is he a pathological liar or is he genuinely what he claims? Of course, this is another aspect that prevents me from truly letting my guard down. Last weekend he talked about selling the million and a half dollar house in California that his grandmother left him, and then this weekend talked about how the people’s loan was still in underwriting because the banks were putting more scrutiny to large loans right now.

The thing that confuses me is I didn’t even ask… he just offered the information… Then he went on about how he had his Black Card with him and if we wanted to we could take off to Las Vegas for the night right then. I laughed him off but it made me curious - is he just THAT comfortable after being together such a short time that he’ll discuss matters of a personal financial matter with me, or is he just beefing himself up? When most guys are concerned I would normally say beefing himself up, but this particular specimen is a very difficult read.

I’m used to people being guarded, impossible to penetrate. I’m not used to someone being up front with me and that’s one thing that severely throws me off with Paul. I misconstrue what he says when he makes himself vulnerable because I’m scared. I expect an ulterior motive because that’s what I’ve been conditioned to expect. How does one shift their paradigm to overcome the jadedness that comes along with dating and allow themselves to be open to love once again?

We returned to his house and I went inside to gather my stuff before returning home. I got my bath supplies together and felt the ring he gave me while we were drunk on our first date hanging from the necklace around my neck and suddenly I was in immediate evaluation mode. What was my impression? What was my clear head telling me? I thought about leaving the ring behind until I looked on the shelf next to his mirror and saw a credit card – and it looked like a Black Card...

I didn’t touch it, I couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t even look for too long because I felt I had invaded his privacy just by seeing it. I had a new perspective on everything he had said before. Maybe he wasn’t making things up as he went along… maybe he WAS one of the last decent, honest guys left on this miserable little rock. I left the clasp on my necklace and finished gathering my things, ring still securely around my neck. Money is not an object to me but honesty is, and I wasn’t quite ready to call this guy a liar.