Observation in Behavior #2: Internet Dating

In 1991 The European Organization for Nuclear Research launched what we know today as the internet. After its launch at 9:30 am, it took exactly 45 minutes for someone to post a pornographic picture involving a woman and a horse. Now, it seems to be one of the easiest ways for this species to begin the propagation process. The entire network is littered with chat rooms and message boards whose only purpose is making physical connections between consenting adults. The problem is any situation that provides anonymity to its user has a dangerous potential – any dumbass idiot can make up a screen name and log in.

One of the things that boggle my giant alien brain is each individual’s strategy for integrating themselves into society. Where some individuals can easily work their way into any social situation and never think about it; others weasel their way into conversations, annoy the crap out of everyone, and live under the impression that they’ve successfully integrated. No matter what others do or say, they still labor under the delirium that they aren’t complete, utter douche bags. No matter how clever the screen name may be, once the person begins chatting it becomes very clear exactly what kind of person they are.

Often times, these same sad souls try to weasel themselves not only into your conversations but into your life. Since they’re living under a strange, ungrounded assumption that they’re “cool” or otherwise generally likeable individuals they most likely will not interpret polite rejection as rejection at all, but take it as playing hard to get.

This is especially true with internet dating. There IS no being polite on the internet, being polite is interpreted as term of endearment. It takes blunt force with some people, if a person isn’t rejected hard and fast it leaves hope for a future possibility. Even just ignoring them or not replying doesn’t work, they just take it as a sign to try again later. In my experience you have to shut them down, let them know you’re not interested so you can both move on and progress towards finding someone who is.

I guess that is one prominent human trait that I haven’t quite gotten the hang of – the ability to be cruel. On this planet there is little room for kindness upon strangers- you don’t throw change to the homeless because their friends will mug you around the corner, and you don’t throw compliments to lonely people unless you plan on procreating with them.

Is humanity really that cut and dry? Is everyone so sexually confused that they can’t tell the difference between a friendly gesture and a pick up line? At least now there’s more personal accountability for what is done on the internet. If you don’t look like the picture you advertise on the dating website, the in-person meeting with your potential partner will end in tragedy. Still most people prefer convenience over quality and would rather meet a dozen bad eggs on the internet than have patience and meet one good one in person.